Archive for the ‘lulz’ Category

Dating: Fallout style

Last night, while venturing through the wastelands, I came across a new point on the map. Due north of Vault 101 lies Big Town, or Little-Big Town, or something to that extent. The whole place is boarded up and surrounded by a gate made of random junk that allows you only one point of entry. Now, as anyone who’s also playing Fallout knows, you find many areas like this scattered about the lands during your travels. They are usually chock full of bandits and super mutants and reward you with a few stimpacks. “Hideouts” if you will.  So upon arrival of this town, I expected just another hideout. I snuck up to the entrance to find a fellow waiting with rifle in hand. I quickly dispatched of him with a VATS style shotgun headblast (my preferred method) and then aimed at the woman next to him (who is running at me with a lead pipe). I targeted her, fired, and crippled her head (whatever that does) with the last of my action points. With only one bar of health left, she stopped attacking and ran for cover. I didn’t want to waste ammo in FPS mode, so I let her go and explored the “hideout”. Well, as earlier explained, it wasn’t a bandit nest. It was a town, and the two people I shot were not enemies. 

I explored some of the buildings and the few people inside didn’t care that I just exploded their friend’s head outside. This was to be expected, I’ll justify it by thinking they were napping and the booming shotgun blasts were not loud enough to wake them. However, I then walked outside and saw a skinny woman who looked oddly familiar. Sure enough, it was the woman with the newly crippled head. Her name is Bittercup. 

I “use” Bittercup and start up the dialog. Apparently she’s not too pissed about the headshot, she’s more concerned that the other townsfolk think she looks funny. I saw that as a perfect opportunity. I give her a wink and a smile and say, “Hey girl, I dig your pasty white skin and sunken eyes.”

Man, she couldn’t get enough. She immediately asks if I’m single, and I give the affirmative. Now she wants me to come back later and see her. I feel like Bittercup and I really hit it off. That critical hit to the head went straight to the heart.


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I think I just found a Fallout killer.

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